WASHINGTON D.C. – In a strange, but oddly logical press conference held this afternoon during President Biden’s nap time, Senator Chuck Shumer and Speaker Nanci Pelosi held a joint press conference. Both members of Congress called on President Biden to switch parties in a last ditch attempt to reverse course on the expected blood bath during the upcoming mid term elections.
Democrats are expected to lose both the House and the Senate majorities in November, partly because President Biden is so unpopular, and his polling numbers are in golf score territory.
“Yes, we admit this is a remarkable request from two leaders of our party,” Pelosi stated. “But it’s necessary. Sorry Joe, but someone has to say it.”
“That’s right,” Shumer seconded. “Nancy is right. We’re friends. And colleagues. But if we don’t do something, the Republicans will control Congress, they defy everything thing we tried to do, even though the country refuses to go along with us.”
Shumer shared some of the polling numbers, but they’re too mundane to report here.
No one from the White House responded to the press conference.
A reporter from CNN was overheard commenting off-the-record: “We’ll all have to wait for Joe to wake up before anyone will do anything.”
An MSNBC reporter snidely responded, “Yeah, that could be a long, long time from now. Maybe 2023.”
Hysterical laughing followed until security cleared the area.