WASHINGTON, D.C. – COVID-19, the first genuinely global health emergency, was released into the public sector in late 2019. After three years of NO LONGER being top-of-mind worldwide, Climate Change is totally pissed off.
“I’ve been the number one global message on every progressive’s lips, then that brat COVID-19 joined the party and screwed up my importance within the Progressive family,” Climate Change said.
Demanding abortion rights was also one of the major messages given importance by progressives, but Climate Change was always the boogeyman trump card because it could be used any time the other messages weren’t gaining traction. Not now, though. COVID-19 is the most useful trump card used by progressives today to keep the world’s population under control with little blowback.
The message from House Progressive Caucus is that “Our world is on the brink of disaster. Science tells us that we have only eleven years to avert an irreversible climate catastrophe. But in a moment that demands urgency and vision, the rich and powerful have offered neither.”
The impatient and petulant Climate Change realizes she must wait her turn, but it’s been hard.
“Our planet is in trouble,” Climate Change said. “Rising sea levels, historic storms, animals and plants facing extinction. It’s time to achieve zero emissions now and avert a worldwide climate crisis.”
But as long as COVID-19 is riding in the Progressive station wagon’s front seat for appearance’s sake, Climate Change will remain in the back seat, moaning about what could have been.