YEE HAW JUNCTION, FLORIDA – Governor Ron Desantis definitely has a sense of humor, but more importantly, a sense of justice. So with that in mind he asked the legislature to pass a simple bill, only one page long. The bill is titled “Return to Sender.”
The Return to Sender legislation provides funding to send ALL “illegal immigrants secretly flown, bused, shipped or released in to Florida by the US government” back to the US government. Specifically, the funding is designated specifically for bus transportation to destinations within the wealthy areas of Washington, D.C. and nearby suburbs of Virginia, Maryland and Delaware.
In addition, funding is also provided for these new transplants to the D.C. area in the form of “migrant family memberships” to popular private country clubs whose members include powerful liberal lobbyists, senators, congressmen, and wealthy progressive political donors.
According to Governor Desantis, in front of thousands of cheering Floridians: "The schemers and low life's within the the federal government have been getting away with their illegal activities with the aid of paid progressive organizations and operatives within the borders of Florida. They planned the transporting of illegal immigrants and affiliated human trafficking operations in secrecy, knowing these activities are a federal crime. The Return to Sender legislation makes these activities a state crime, as well. "We're handling this differently. We're making all decisions out in the open, in full public view. Make no mistake, none of the buses will arrive in Washington, D.C. under cover of darkness. All migrants will be treated with the utmost respect, and will arrive during daylight hours to locations across the district, including public and private school parking lots, popular shopping malls, fancy neighborhood parks and many other locations in high traffic areas."
Floridians appreciate Governor Desantis’ willingness to fight for the rights of all legal Florida citizens and legal immigrants. “Thanks for Making Florida Great Again,” shouted the crowd during the announcement.
As icing on the cake, Desantis sent a case of humble pies to the White House, as well as Speaker Pelosi and Senator Shumer’s offices, and the Department of Homeland Security.