WASHINGTON, D.C. – Congressman Eric Swalwell, also know as “Let ‘er Rip Eric”, held a press conference concerning President Biden’s upcoming Supreme Court nomination. In his statement, Swalwell refuted Senator Lindsey Graham’s comments that nominating the first Black woman to the Supreme Court would not be affirmative action.
“Sure it would be affirmative action,” Swalwell said. “What is the definition of affirmative action? Allowing someone to move to the head of the line because of racial past wrongs.”
The room was deathly quiet, but Swalwell didn’t appear to notice how his words were being interpreted.
“And what race in America has been harmed the most by affirmative action?” he continued. “Asians. Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Taiwanese, and Koreanese. I say give them first dibs at retiring Justice Breyer’s seat on the court. We all know that Asians are smarter than the rest of us. I mean, look at their SAT scores. They’re triple my SATs from high school.”
Many of the attendees of the press conference look at one another, shaking their heads. Some even stifled smiles.
“I know someone who is well- qualified,” he said. “We were intimate several years ago. And she’s hot. Young. And super smart. Smarter than me, that’s for sure. I call her Fangs, but her name is Fang Fang. I have photos of her on my phone if anyone’s interested.”
Someone cleared their throat, and Swalwell moved on.
“Put me in the camp of making sure the court and other institutions look like America, and China,” the congressman said. “If you ask me, picking anyone that’s not Asian is affirmative action, because they’re the most qualified, and there has never been an Asian-American on the Court. There have been five women and two blacks. No Asians. I urge President Biden to do the right thing.”
Swalwell refused to answer questions. As he gathered his notes, he appeared to cut the cheese, live on national TV. Swalwell paused a moment, looked at the audience, turned and walked directly out of the room.
Biden is set to announce his pick before March.