Sleepy Joe’s Secret Service detail breaks new ground with the announcement of an all-transexual team of agents. Biden’s new team is giddy about the job, and so is Biden.
“They are the toughest sons and bitches on the planet,” Biden said. “And what’s most amazing is that they can kick ass and break out into a Broadway show tune before the gun smoke clears.”
Planning for the new Secret Service detail has been in the works for months. New agents were hired in early 2021. The required curriculum included:
Firearm Safety Self defense training Ballroom dancing Defensive driving McGyver's "Turn Common Household Tools into Weapons" Series Taught by a Hollywood Stuntman Adult Day Care Strategies Showtunes for Seniors
“I’m jealous,” says Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “They should be protecting me from all the Republican men and women that want to date me.”
Republican Senator Tom Cotton thinks it makes sense. “If Biden thinks he’s safer being guarded by a chorus line rather than the best trained protection available, then so be it. I’m sure the entertainment in his basement on the weekends is better than watching a musical on Broadway. He probably doesn’t have to wear a mask since there are no CNN cameras in his basement.”