White House Staffers Paid to Lie About Biden Testing Positive for COVID Again and Again

Whistleblowers, weisenheimers and wallydraigles within the White House admit that Joe Biden does not have COVID for a second time. That’s just what he’s being told by his Dr. doctor and his Dr. wife.

The behind closed doors reason for announcing Biden’s second bout with COVID is primarily to give his staff a reason to keep him off the campaign trail ginning up votes for fellow democrats. No one wants him anywhere near their states, their cities or their campaigns.

There are 99 days until the mid-term elections. President Biden has been adamant about his desire to hit the campaign trail and help Democrat Congressmen and Senators win their mid-term elections based on his policies, his polls and his popularity. Unfortunately for Biden, the White House staff keeps him in what they describe as the “Happy Town Bubble.”

“Biden hates bad news,” admitted a staffer secretly known as Carmine. “He screams, falls to the floor and sobs when he doesn’t get his way.” But the minute Biden tested positive for COVID, he quit asking his staff when he could begin campaigning. It worked so well the first time, the team concocted his second positive test result.

The conspiracy behind grows even darker and more sinister. An unnamed source extremely close to the situation claims that the Democrat National Committee and hundreds of congressional campaign war chests are paying Hunter Biden to keep dear old dad in his Happy Town Bubble and away from their states or districts. “Hunter is the man behind the second positive COVID announcement,” the source said.

“It’s not a small amount of money being wasted,” said a close associate of the Dark Prince of Biden Town. “We’re just afraid he’ll spill the beans while filming another one of his personal sex and drug filled Happy Town moments.”

“We didn’t sign on for this,” exclaimed one forlorn aid. “We came to the White House to save the planet. But all we’re doing is baby sitting a deranged old man while getting rich from Hunter, the DNC and Democrat donors. I’ve already made enough money this week under the table to pay off my student loan and AOC’s. Please don’t tell her though, or she’ll make me do it. She knows I want to sleep with her. We all do.”

In another five or ten days the world can expect another announcement that President Biden has contracted COVID for a third time. “It will be hogwash, of course,” said a Hunter associate. “The whole inner circle is rolling in money like a pig in slop. Isn’t democracy great?”